Friday Musings: My Bikeless Butt in Buenos Aires

Happy Friday, Bike Commuters! A short, but wonderful WTF weirdness update from the world of Mir.I.Am: live from Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Rental Bikes - Buenos Aires - Argentina

Bike Envy: my bikeless butt covets the yellow bikes of Buenos Aires. By pepsiline on flickr.

It’s perpetual travel time nowadays, which means I am bikeless in Buenos Aires. The last bike standing – my orange vintage ride – woefully collects dust in the faraway land of San Francisco, at my sister’s apartment. After a shameful three months of hoofing it through Costa Rica and Dramamine-induced bus rides… I think I’ve come down with a case of Bikeless Butt Envy! Everywhere I look, I see happy Argentines riding yellow cruisers, and my butt gets jealous like too-short teenagers in a roller coaster park. These fits of jealousy spark an inner dialogue between my butt and me that goes like this:

Bikeless Butt Post-It

“Get your limp body up on a saddle!” – my butt taunts as Cycle Ladies breeze by in summer dresses and platform sandals in Buenos Aires. I must be losing it – my butt is talking to me. Did my butt just leave me a post-it on the front door?

“I’m sick of this shiz, smother me into some strange-ass public bike share saddle, Mejor en Bici style,” chirps my bum.

“Quit your nagging, Flatness Everdeen, I’m on a tight travel budgie since Costa Rica… And, let’s be honest, you weren’t ready to crank me up Volcano Mountain in humid rainstorms without clips and some spandoise!” I retort.

“Get over it, Chinita Loca… There are ZERO hills in this city. Booty-up and do your paperwork so we can see the city via two wheels!” The butt makes a good point, and I’m out of excuses.

Time to muster up my Castellano courage and dive into some paper bureaucracy – the only thing I need is proof of address in Buenos Aires and identification. Check out those baskets and clown horns, amigos!

And so, the excursion begins this week – I’m on this like tweens on Twilight. It’s time to listen to my butt and get back on a bike. With 28 Mejor en Bici stations, the bike share possibilities are as prolific as puddled potholes in the sidewalk around this town. And there is a large network of car-free lanes (marked in yellow in the map below) where bikes can avoid the notoriously heinous driving of the local Porteños… Drool in awe:

Cross your fingers, Bike Commuters, for a successful sign-up to get my butt back on a bike. It’s been far too long, and I’ve gone off the deep end. I’ll think of all the velomonsters out there this weekend, as I live vicariously through your bike commutes.

Bike Pin Up Girl

Bike Envy! From my butt, to yours.


About the author

Bike monkey commuting in Honolulu, Hawaii - rain, shine, or tsunami! I don't have a car - if i did I would perpetuate Asian woman driver stereotypes.... so I stick to two wheels and bumming rides of friends, daBus, and the roomie's "Dingo" Jeep. Plus I am cheap (perpetuating other Chinese stereotypes) and green (perpetuating architectural obsession of this generation) and too lazy to work out a the gym! BIKES FOR LIFE!